Remember
by DC World
Summary: a cailey one-shot insirped by the Alan Jackson song "Remember When"


**I am moving on the 1****st**** of April to start a summer job and unfortunately the room I am renting does not have enough space to fit a desk big enough for my computer. So, I have to transfer all my files to my sister's laptop so I have a computer for the summer. While I was in the process of doing this I decided to go through a file I have called " Fanfic". While I don't post very often, I do have TONS of ideas. And this file is full of documents half done. Some only have a five or six words ( mostly song titles or book/show references) while others contain several thousand words or more. While I don't have any more chapters to add to my already existing stories, I do have several one-shots and scenes that I have decided to finish/ fix up and post over the next couple of days. **

**This first one was originally a Relsi ( Ryan and Kelsi from HSM) one-shot ( if you wish to read the original it is chapter 4 of a collection of one-shots called " The all you can read buffet) but I thought it could also work for Cailey, so I re-wrote bits and pieces. I actually like to original better. But that is only because I am more of a Relsi shipper then a Cailey shipper. But they are both good. This one-shot was inspired by the song " Remember When" by Alan Jackson. **

**Also, just so you know, I had written most of this back in September last year so a lot of things that happened in Season 3 didn't happen in this AU. In particular the " Twister" episodes. It made more sense in the context of this one-shot to keep my original dialogue in which Bailey talks about how it's been years since she has seen the farm and she isn't quite sure if she will be able to get back into the swing of things. **

**Remember **

Do you remember when we were young and in love ? The days when no matter what happened we were going to get through it, just because we had each other. The days when our biggest problems revolved around finding our true selves and then finding the courage to show everyone else this new us. We were convinced that once we got to Harvard we were going to take the place by a storm; impressing all the right people with our brilliance, discovering a new life form or the cure to a previously incurable disease. Boldly going where no man has gone before ( sort of speak). And then after decades of being world renowned, noble peace prize winning scientists, settling down to have a comfortable fairy-tale life until we both died of old age. Together until the end. Well, obviously we were wrong. But I miss those days, Bales. The days when everything was so much simpler. Life gets way more complicated once you are forced into the real world. But that does not mean that after we came down from the clouds I did not still feel the same about you as I did when we were young. I loved you then and I still love you now. I don't think I will ever stop loving you.

I remember the moment I fall in love with you. Although, technically, one can't really call it love at first sight because I had spent a good 6 hours with you before hand, I still firmly believe that I fell head over heels for you the moment I saw you - the real you. And from that moment on I made it my mission to make you mine. In fact, that very night I spent hours devising the perfect six month plan. Of course, foolishly, I forget to factor in the fact that life is rather unpredictable - a concept that was regrettably almost entirely foreign to me until I was well into my twenties. But, despite of the several bumps in the road and detours I had to endure during my relentless pursuit, I eventually won you over.

And what about the first time we kissed? I had just spent the entire day with Woody, searching the entire ship for the items on one of the most bizarre scavenger hunts I think I have ever been on ( I mean, seriously, who puts a swordfish and a sliver chalice on a scavenger hunt list?) just to win you Hannah Montana tickets - which I had said I already had. Of course, as you know, I didn't win them. But you forgave me for lying to you about the tickets anyways. Apparently, no one had gone through that much effort just for you and you thought it was sweet. Although, why, I have no idea. I would have gone to the ends of earth and back for you. Oddly, I would have happy enough with the hug I received for my relentless pursuit of tickets. But I am not going to lie, later that day when you grabbed hold of me and planted on of my lips after we meet Hannah and actually got tickets, I was on top of world.

I have to admit you were always more courageous then me - or at least when it came to the more intimate parts of our relationship. Do you remember the first time we made love? It was the night before we graduated for Seven Seas High. This morning we had already docked in Boston and we were told that we would have to be ready to leave the ship for good in two days. I was over at your cabin helping you do some last minute packing. Of course, Moesby, Tutweiller - and I - had warned you weeks before that you should not leave it to the last moment. But did you listen? No. And when asked why you procrastinated, you simply stated that you wanted to spend your last weeks on the ship doings things you enjoyed and being with the people you loved- not sorting through crap and deciding what to take and what to throw out. While we were going through the top drawer in your dresser you noticed a set of keys. And I remember you picking them up slowly and staring at them for quite some time. Then you grabbed your sweater from the chair and beckoned me to follow you outside into the hallway. That's when you told me that Tutweiller had given you at the beginning of senior year, so that you could use any of the classrooms whenever you felt like it. I raised an eyebrow, momentarily hurt that she would give you a set of keys and not me. But then you gave me one of your cheeky smiles and practically begged me to sneak into the chemistry lab with you so we could do one last experiment together, and my bitterness melted away. How could I say no to a proposition like that?

As we sneak down the halls of our home away from home for the last three years I could not help but feel chills running down my spin. It suddenly hit me. Our extended vacation - an adventure that could only be described as life changing and epic- was finally coming to it's inevitable end. Soon I would be heading back to the hotel, probably to spend my summer working at the candy counter or hopefully also spending some time in the kitchens with Chef Palo. You, back to Kansas, where long hours in the fields were no doubt calling your names. Back to a more so-called normal lifestyle of a 17 year-old.

When we got to the chemistry lab you quickly opened the door and switched on the lights. I think the circumstances of our current situation was starting to dawn on you too. I could tell by the way you hunched your shoulders slightly that you were suddenly overwhelmed with a sense of sadness. But then you pulled your hair into a ponytail, turned on the gas, lit the Bunsen Burner and all your stress seemed to fade away. I watched silently as you began to pull out all of the apparatus we would need for our experiment, a smile forming on my face. This was your true calling in life. It never ceased to amaze me how much joy you seemed to derive for science. And then suddenly you stopped in your tracks, turning to stare at me before turning off the gas - your momentarily happiness extinguishing with the flame.

' I can't do this, Cody.' you whispered as you walked closer to me ' I can't go back to farm, not now. Not when I've seen so much of the world, experienced so much. I can't….I can't leave you, I lose you again.' And I grabbed your hands, stared you straight in the eyes and promised that I would come visit you, all summer if that was what you wanted and that you would never again lose me.

Then I kissed you and before I knew what was happening my jacket and your sweater were lying in a heap by the door and I was pinned between you and the side of the counter we were planning to work at. And even as you began to unbutton my shirt I don't think that you fully grasped what you were doing. It was like your mind and your body were on two separate channels - and your mind had lost all control. I guess my mind was not in control either because I had somehow managed to flip you over so that I was now on top and you were practically lying on the counter , my lips hungry for a taste of more . As I eagerly helped you out of your tank top and added it to the growing pile of our clothes, the intensity of my kisses kept building . But when I fumbled with the clasp on your bra you stopped me. It was as if it finally occurred to you what was happening, and it confused you. I slowly got off of you and backed up and we just stared for a moment. And then you let out a huge breath. ' I've never done this before, Cody ,' you confessed to me in a whisper. As I mentioned before, you have way more courage then me. I had never had sex before that night either, but I wouldn't have told you that. It's odd though, when I was a teenager there were a lot of things that I wanted - I was a very ambitious young man. And yet, I had never wanted anything as much in my entire life as I had wanted you in that moment. That just goes to show you the power of a young man's sex drive- particularly when his girlfriend is sitting across for him half dressed. From the look on your face I could tell you were thinking things over and after a while you must have come to some sort of conclusion because you walked closer to me and leaned over to whisper in my ear. 'There is no one I would rather lose my virginity to then you' and then you unclasped your own bra.

You cried afterwards. And my first thought was that I had done something wrong and you felt like this was a mistake. I must have shown my worry on my face because you put on a weak smile and assured me that you were not crying because of anything I had done. You were just overwhelmed, that was all. It was beginning to sink in that you were no longer a child. Somewhere along the way you had crossed the line into adulthood and it scared you. I gently brushed your tears away, but didn't say anything. I think that if I would have openly admitted that growing up scared me too, I would have cried with you. And crying in front of you at that moment would have made me feel worse then I already did. So I just listened as you confessed all your worries and tried to encourage you as best as I could. Whether I was really any help or not I have no idea. But you did stop crying and the next day we both walked across that stage to receive our diplomas with our heads held up high. No matter where life was going to take us nothing was going to break us apart. We were in it for the long haul.

I remember how on our wedding day you were so nervous about being the center of attention that you were ready to cancel the wedding and just go to Vegas to get eloped. Of course, since we had decided to get married onboard the SS Tipton and were already in the middle of Atlantic Ocean heading towards the Mediterranean, eloping was not really an option. It still took Maya and I a couple of hours to actually calm you down and get you to agree that going through with this ceremony was the best thing for everyone involved. But to tell you the truth, I think I was just as - if not more- nervous then you were. I don't know if you noticed, but during the ceremony I had a big gash on the side of my neck. When I was shaving that morning I was shaking so much that I actually cut myself. And not just a little nick, oh no, that was quite a deep cut. And when I just stood there and stared at myself in the mirror, Zack - who was getting ready right beside me- poured me the biggest single shot of vodka I think I have ever seen. And while I pounded back my drink he dumped like half the bottle of aftershave on my cut. Okay, not half the bottle. But a hell of a lot of that stuff. And it burnt like a son of a bitch.

But we both somehow made it through that day. And we made it through the first couple of years. Although sometimes I don't know how. It seemed like everything that could go wrong did. And all we did was fight and have sex. It was like we either really hated each other or really loved it each other . There was nothing in between. And sometimes I wondered why I married you in the first place. But of course, there were those special moments. Moments that reminded me that I truly did love you.

Like the when you told me that you were pregnant with Lucas. It was at Zack and Maya's wedding and everyone was gathering around a very pregnant Maddie. And while all the other girls were congratulating Maddie and Peter , you turned and gave me a small smile before discreetly nodding your head in the direction of her protruding belly. Being the stereotypical male, I just stared back at you. I knew you were trying to tell me sometime, but I just couldn't place it. It took me a while, but once realized what you were trying to say I am pretty sure I turned as white as a ghost. And when I mouthed ' Are you sure?' your smile got bigger and you nodded. I swear that I my heart literally skipped a beat. Unfortunately our little exchange did not go unnoticed because a moment later Maya let out a high pitch squeal and pulled us both into a huge hug, earning raised eyebrows from everyone in the vicinity.

But I also remember the day that I thought that it was really over. It was about a month and a half before Lucas was born and you had just learnt that your father was in the hospital because he had suffered a major heart attack. He was not expected to live. I called the head of the biochem department of the company that I was working for and somehow convinced him to give me a week off. Then we packed an overnight bag and were on the next plane headed for Kansas . You were silent the whole flight there - which is understandable. When we arrived at the hospital we were to late and you broke down in your mother's arms. And I just stood in the doorway of the small hospital room and watched. The whole situation seemed surreal to me. And I began to image what it would be like in 30 or 40 years when I died and you and our child cried in each other arms over my body. The thought scared the shit out of me. Funny, I never considered the idea that it would be me crying over your body instead of the other way around.

That night we sat up in the bed that was made up for us in the guest room of the house that you grew up in and we talked. But talking soon became shouting once you decided that the best thing to do was to move back home and stay with your mother for a while. I don't really know why I was so determined to stay in Cambridge . It wasn't like I had actually gotten anywhere since we moved there. But even though I was already married and soon to be a father I was still very young. I was still trying to live out my teenage fantasies. And you had apparently already moved on.

Once it was clear to you that I was not willing to drop my life and move across the country with you, I was kicked out of the room and forced to spend the night on the hide-away bed in the living room. The next morning you told me that I needed to do some serious growing up or else you were going to leave me. I was at a lost of what to say or even feel. Over the first couple of years you had told me that you were going to leave me several times. But when you said it that morning there was a seriousness to your voice that was frightening. I spent the remainder of the day trying to figure out who the hell in a town like Kettlecorn would even take a guy like me seriously. A guy who, despite graduating in the top ten percent of his class at Harvard University and marrying a women like you - one you spent the majority of her youth shucking corn and chasing hogs - was absolutely useless when it came to manual labour on a farm. Which, of course, was the only type of job that was advertised in the local newspaper. Unless I wanted to work three nights a week as a clerk at the corner store, which as exciting as I am sure that position would have been, did not meet my requirements. Plus there was also the fact that four days earlier I had signed a three year contract with a company called CalvinGentics. Who, of course, conveniently invested several million dollars in the research I was supposed be currently conducting for them from their high tech lab in Massachusetts. And I highly doubt they would have been very pleased to hear that instead of doing what they paid me to do, I was actually debating whether I should call Old Man Lanny and see if he still needed someone help him build his new workshop or call Otto Keagi and ask if he still needed someone to do the evening shift on his dairy farm. But as ludicrous and difficult as dropping everything I had worked so hard to achieve and relocating to the middle of nowhere would have been, losing you would have been far worse. And so by supper time I was on the fast track to becoming a changed man. But then you apologized for acting so stupid and told me that it was selfish of you to make me grow up. Especially when you hadn't really grown-up yourself.

And then Lucas was born. And although we still fought, the world did not just revolve around the two of us anymore. And before we knew it we had five kids, owned a small student friendly restaurant just off the Harvard campus and gave the occasional lectures at Colleges and Universities across North America. It was not the life we had envisioned when we were eighteen- it was one that was much better.

I remember how just last week you confessed to me that you thought that at forty-eight we were way to young to be grandparents. I shook my head at you as I looked down at the picture of our granddaughter that Emma and Will had sent to us. At five months old, little Hailey Robson looked very much like her grandmother. And I could not help but laugh when you mumbled that they were obviously not old enough to be parents. Never mind the fact that when we were their age we already had three kids. When I pointed this out, you smiled and said that I was right. We should not worry about these things so much. _'I might as well be thankful for what I have and be happy that I am so blessed. You never know when it can all be yanked from underneath you.' _But none of us every imagined that your words would so suddenly have so much meaning.

I know that if you were here with me right now you would probably be quite mad at me. You would tell me that I need to get over it and move on. And one day I will, but not today. Today I am going to actually allow myself to grieve . I am not going to just stand by and watch while those around me open up and become consumed by their emotions. I am going to cry. Cry until I can not cry anymore. And then I am going to get up, dust myself off and take the next step on my journey. Because although I may not have grown old with you, we were together until the end. And I will always remember that.


End file.
